So, we’ve signed Fernando Torres. Had you heard? There was some stuff about it in the papers…

And how convenient that we had the squad number 9 all ready and available for him to slide straight into. Oddly, the number classically associated with golden goal-scorers (Lawton, Bentley, Bridges, Osgood, Dixon, Hasselbaink – those kinds of people) has been vacant at our club for a while, and was subject to a peculiar period of untraditional usage before that. So it is that Torres will wear the shirt recently graced by Steve Sidwell and Khalid Boulahrouz. In fact, apart from the barely ever selected Franco Di Santo, not since Hernan Crespo was given it in 2005/06 has the number 9 appeared on the back of a striker – where it ought to appear. It will be nice to see it used properly again.